You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
She even gives head with a lisp.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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