and you said cock pushups were impossible
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
