I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
