did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
