omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
