I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You can't just leave with hair like that
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
