Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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