babies were throwing up all over the place
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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