My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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