We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Randomize
