i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
