"it" just moved
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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