Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Still dying that you shit outside
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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