i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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