so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
