did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
