just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
