is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize