Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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