yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
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