She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
