wakey wakey hands off snakey
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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