This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
