Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
