Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
