It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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