sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
