So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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