he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
