Screwed.edu
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Randomize
