it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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