If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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