They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
