honey bunches of taint.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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