STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
