I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
