Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
