two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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