I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
