I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
