how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
