why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Randomize
