Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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