is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
