Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
