There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
