two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
