Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
