my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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