i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
