I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
