I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
