Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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