She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Randomize
