so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
