We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
