i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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