1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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