Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
